His butler, movie producer
by psychoflower
Summary: William T spears gets drunk. Sebastian tapes it. Bard burns down the kitchen- again. This is what happens when Will goes on vacation.


**A.N.: Yes, I know I say "jello" too many times. I already got hit in the head with a squeaky snake, I got the idea. Obviously I do not own black butler, the brand name "jello", the squiggly lines, drunk people, VHS, DVD, or the word "and". Kmg. Stupid disclaimer… (the reason I am so grumpy is my second you tube account was deleted because of copyright infringement.)**

I also do not own anything I forgot. Does this cover everything?

Anyway, to start the story.

"NEVER." Will looked at Grell. "I will not touch that foul stuff."

"But what if you aren't on duty?" Grell sighed. "Oh, come on Will! You have to try it sometime!"

"I said never, and I meant it! I'm always on duty, anyway." Will finished with a sigh. Grell had been having this conversation with him for the past hour. Why was he/she/it so obsessed with alcohol, anyway? The stuff only clouded the mind, making you unprepared for dangers ahead. Will just stood there, waiting "patiently" for Grell to leave. "Now will you vacate the premises? I have work to do. I always have work to do."

"Then it's about time you took a break," came a voice. The undertaker had been listening to the entire conversation. His expression was one of amusement.

"FINE." Will threw up his hands. This conversation was taking up too much of his time. If only to appease those fools… "I'll take a break. But don't expect me to take part in such frivolous activities as drinking."

"YAAAAY!" Grell screamed. "And I know just the place to take a vacation! Sebastian's house!"

"Wait-"started Will, only to be picked up and carried bridal style by the undertaker.

"I think it's a wonderful idea," laughed the undertaker. "I'll get to see that hilarious butler…"

"WHO is here? And they want WHAT?" screamed Ciel.

"Grell, The Undertaker, and Will," Sebastian listed. "And apparently they want to stay the night."

"I can understand Grell and The Undertaker, but why is Will here?" Ciel wondered. "Doesn't he hate you?" Will had expressed his disdain for Sebastian and Ciel in the past, and although there was a slight mutual respect, sparks would fly whenever Will and Sebastian were in a room together. Sometimes literally.

"We must show hospitality to our guests, young lord." Sebastian bowed. Although he hated the reapers, he had to treat them as he would any guest. With suspicion and caution.

"You're avoiding the-"Ciel started to say, but he was interrupted by Grell (who was screaming with joy).

"Sebastian! There you are! I thought you had up and left me and I was so sad. But you would never do that to me, would you?" Grell leaped forwards to try and hug Sebastian, but was stopped by Will. Will had on a blank expression, which reminded Ciel of an expert poker player.

"Please control yourself." Will sighed. "I came here to relax, not babysit YOU."

Both Ciel and Sebastian jumped. "Relax? You never relax!" gaped Ciel. Sebastian was just as surprised.

"I'm only here at the insistence of THESE two, and only for a couple days. I can't neglect work for long." Will sighed. He looked tired of this whole situation. Ciel seriously doubted that this was his idea.

"Well, then," Sebastian smiled "We'll have to put you in the guest rooms, I suppose. I hope they are to your liking."

Will shot Grell a look. "How did I let you talk me into this again?"

"He didn't talk you into it, I did!" cackled the undertaker. "You need a break from time to time."

"Very well. Let's get this over with, then." sighed Will, entering the dining room. The table was covered in a variety of foods, all of which were elegantly arranged in an aesthetically pleasing manner

"For dinner we have-" started Sebastian.

"JELLO!" screamed Grell. Everyone stared at Grell, wondering what he/she/it was talking about. Grell immediately whipped out a container of a strange red substance that was mysteriously jiggling.

"WHAT IS THAT." Will gaped.

"You've never had jello?" Gasped the undertaker. "Well, you're in luck! I always carry Jello with me in case of an emergency like this!" The undertaker pulled out a container filled with jiggling green cubes.

"Sorry, Sebastian! I burned the kitchen again- IS THAT JELLO?" Bard entered the room, flamethrower in hand. May-Rin and Finnian followed close behind, intrigued by the strange colored substance that had everyone in an uproar. Very soon, everyone was scrambling for a taste of the jello. Only Sebastian, Ciel , and Will refrained from eating. Unfortunately for Will, Grell was strangely determined to make him consume as much of the red jello as possible.

"Just try some!"

"No thank you."

"Why not?"

"I refuse to eat something that looks like colored animal fat."

"Oh. WELL EAT IT ANYWAY." At this, Grell shoved some of the red jello in Wills mouth.

Spitting the jello out (most of it anyway, he had swallowed some accidentally) Will reprimanded Grell.

"You will treat your superiors with respect!" he screamed. Grell started backing away. He/she/it had never seen Will like this. The Undertaker watched this all with a smile.

"This is better than a soap opera!"

Seeing as how all of the green jello was gone, May-Rin, Finnian, and Bard left the room. Sebastian groaned.

"Now I have to clean this all up. And they trampled the cake!" Sebastian groaned.

"Sebastian, I'm going to leave the room now. Please make sure this is cleaned up when I return. And dispose of dinner. I've lost my appetite."

"Yes, my lord."

Having succeeded in forcing Will to consume all of the red jello, Grell stood back.

"You are like a child!" Will chided. "If you are not under constant supervision, you will get into trouble and disgrace the reaper name!" or, at least, that's what he meant to day. It came out more like: "hyoo re lick e chreeld! Efoore nnt undo constansupe viseen huell geet eenuh trble hund isgrase huh reepuh neem!" Grell had spiked the jello. Will was completely and utterly drunk. Sebastian chose this exact moment to walk into the room.

"Grell, what did you do?" Sebastian sighed. "Never mind, I don't want to know. But if he gets sick, you are the one who is cleaning it up." Sebastian began to leave, not wanting to get involved.

"Hold on, sehbassan!" will slurred. He tried to pull himself up, but failed. He looked around at the floor, as if confused how he got there.

"Yes, William. What is it you wish to tell me?" Sebastian turned. Maybe Will would accidentally share some information.

"I juss wanted yhoo to know why I hate you!" Will yelled. Sebastian rolled his eyes. Nothing of importance then. He started to leave, only to be stopped by Wills death scythe holding the door closed.

"Perhaps it is time for you to go to bed. "Why don't you come with me to your-"Sebastian was interrupted by the undertaker, who was, for some reason, holding a pizza.

"Maybe you should listen to him. He is drunk, and armed." The undertaker grinned. Sebastian sighed. Although he could definitely take the drunken reaper in a fight, he did not want to repair the mansion yet again.

"All right. So why do you hate me?" Sebastian asked, although he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

"You are a shamelesh…" Will trailed off.

"Demon?" Sebastian finished.

"NO!" Shouted Will. "I wouldn't call you a demon! That would be mean!" confused, Sebastian was silent for a second. "But I AM a-"

"A NINJA!" Will yelled. "A SHAMELESS NINJA!"

"Goodness, you are drunk." Sebastian smiled. "Off to bed with you it is, then."

The next morning, everyone woke up to go to breakfast. It was rather uneventful, except for May Rin spilling milk all over Grell, with Sebastian doing nothing to stop it.

"You could have caught that!" huffed Grell. "You were standing right there." The only other thing rather out of the ordinary was Will's hangover, but he still insisted in participating in everything. Just with a blanket over his head.

"Why is everything so LOUD…" he groaned. "And BRIGHT. I don't remember it being so BRIGHT."

Sebastian smiled. "We have a home movie to show everyone, but let us wait until our dear friend, William T Spears, is completely awake." The only response from Will was a grumbled "I'm going back to bed."

Sebastian and Ciel walked out to the garden. "Sebastian, tell me what is going on. Now."

Sebastian smiled. "Yes, my lord. Last night, after you retired, it was discovered that our dear guest, Will, was drunk. It appears Grell spiked the jello that she/he/it had been force feeding him. Knowing that tonight would be… interesting, I quickly planted several cameras throughout the room. The combined footage is the video we shall be watching later." Sebastian held up said video cameras. "now, if you will excuse me, bard has figured out how to get his flamethrower off of the roof."

"It's almost time for them to leave, and you haven't shown us that video of yours! Why don't you just start it already?" Ciel was dying to see the video, it would be good blackmail material… and he also wanted to see Will in a drunken stupor, of course.

"Yes, my lord." Sebastian smiled. Ciel could be so impatient, couldn't he… He put the tape into the player (VHS of course, none of that "DVD" nonsense) and got out another video camera to tape reactions. He was not disappointed.

"You taped this? You're even sweeter than I thought, seba-chan!" Grell was ecstatic, jumping around the room and throwing confetti everywhere. Everyone was too busy watching the video to wonder where he/she/it got the confetti in the first place, much less scold Grell on the mess.

"This is amazing! I haven't had a laugh this good in years! You are truly a miracle worker, Sebastian!" The undertaker was watching the movie, and found it quite amusing, despite the fact he was there in person the night before. Ciel was too busy laughing to say anything. May Rin, Bard, and Finnian were all relieved Grell had not fed them any red jello, but at the same time amused at Wills antics. Will, on the other hand, was downright outraged.

"I can't believe you taped this! You know, it's technically against the law to tape someone without their permission!"

"Ah, but you forget," Sebastian waved a hand elegantly. "I am a shameless ninja. Ninjas do not have to obey the law." Laughing evilly, Sebastian left the room as video ended. Everyone stared after him, astonished. Ciel shivered.

"That was a little TOO freaky. I don't think I've ever heard him laugh like that."

"No kidding." May Rin, Bard, and Finnian chorused. The undertaker had stopped laughing, realizing the video was over. Looking at everyone's scared expressions, he was rather confused.

"Did I miss something? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

"No. Not a ghost." Will grit his teeth." A demon. An EVIL SOUL-EATING DEMON!"

Sebastian laughed again from outside the room. "And here I thought I was a ninja."

Will began screaming incomprehensibly. Grell took that as a cue to leave, doing something right for once. The undertaker followed close behind, dragging Will along. So much for a relaxing vacation.


End file.
